Ace of Hearts
by Fantasia-the-Crazy
Summary: Something's a little bit different about Munkustrap.


It's all very strange.

I never considered myself any different from the other toms. I was a happy kitten with a happy family, and everything about me was normal. Granted, I knew from a young age that I'd follow in my father's pawsteps and lead the tribe someday, and I took it as seriously as I knew it ought to be taken – but that hardly made a difference to my social life. I was still a young tom just like my friends. I never had any trouble picking out which queens I liked; I didn't spend much time thinking about it, but still, I knew.

It was when we all started growing up that something began to seem amiss. We toms still talked about queens, but the way we talked about them was starting to change. Suddenly, it was less about the queens and more about what we wanted to _do _with them. And it made me uncomfortable, because I never wanted to do any of the things the rest of them talked about. The thought never even crossed my mind. I knew it was a part of life, but I never realized it was something you actively _wanted_. I always thought it was just something you _did_.

I brought it up with my younger brother, Tugger, one evening, thinking that perhaps we simply didn't have those thoughts in the royal family. I quickly learned that my hypothesis couldn't have been further from the truth, though, because my brother looked at me with the most incredulous expression on his face I'd ever seen.

"What do you mean, you don't want to 'do it'? That's ridiculous. Everyone has to want it. There's just something wrong with you, Munku."

Even though Tugger always says these things, I couldn't help but take it to heart that time. It certainly seemed like he was right. There had to be something I was missing, but try as I might, I couldn't find it. No matter what I tried to make myself want it, nothing worked. Finally, I decided I was merely a late bloomer and settled for waiting for this whatever-it-was to happen.

It didn't happen. All of us toms continued to grow, and before I knew it, we were at the age to participate in the Mating Dance at the Ball. Everyone else was excited, but the thought of it made me feel sick. We received our partners, and I was paired with Demeter, who I'd always rather admired. I tried to make myself look forward to it, but again, somehow I just couldn't. Fortunately, Demeter was understanding, and the night before the Ball I asked my father for permission to sit out on the dance. Although he didn't understand it either, he let me, and has continued to let me every year since.

Later that night, Tugger walked by me, holding paws with Bombalurina. "_Someone_'s having a grand old time," he taunted me. "I hope you enjoy spending the rest of your life alone, weirdo."

"I don't want to be alone," I protested. And that was true – I still liked queens and wanted a relationship with one. Just not the kind of relationship I was apparently supposed to want.

"Well, too bad," Tugger smirked. "'Cause the way you're going, you're gonna be."

Once the two of them were gone, I let myself slouch over and stare at the ground. What if he was right? What queen would want a tom who had nothing to offer except for kittenish affection?

A minute later, Demeter, who had been paired with Admetus at the start of the evening, came and joined me. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I looked at her for a second, but then just shook my head. "I'm sorry."

She smiled at me. "Don't be. The dance wasn't all that great. You know, most toms your age are only after one thing – it's kind of nice to find one like you who's different."

I looked up again. I'd never thought of it that way before. "Really?" I asked.

She nodded. "Really." Then, offering me her paw, she invited me, "Let's dance."

-x-X-x-

Demeter and I quickly became friends. She had a few tomfriends in the years that followed, and none of them were me. Despite her words at the Ball, it seemed she was just going to turn out like everyone else. All I could really do was accept that because of my little problem, she wouldn't feel the same way about me as I did about her.

So I devoted myself to my role as Jellicle Protector and future leader of the tribe. It was easy for me to focus on because I'd valued it my whole life, and I didn't have any "needs" that got in the way – quite unlike my brother, who seemed to have a different queen over every week. I felt a twinge of loneliness from time to time, but it was nothing I couldn't bear; if I had to live the rest of my life like this, I think I could have been okay.

Things change, though. Nothing ever stays the same way forever. A few years after that Ball, Macavity attacked our tribe, looking for a queen to help him build his empire. And it just so happened that Demeter was the one he chose. He kidnapped her, took her to his lair and raped her, and by the time myself and a search party of toms arrived to save her, it was too late to do anything about it.

She was a different cat by the time we got her back to the junkyard. Scarred, frightened and crying, she was a shell of her former self. It hurt everyone to see her this way, but as she recovered, I stayed by her side like a good friend would do.

Pieces of Demeter's old self gradually came back to her, but she was much quieter and incorrigibly paranoid, jumping at every shadow that moved. And she wouldn't let a tom so much as touch her.

There was an exception, though. She later told me that my face was the first one she recognized when the rescue party showed up at Macavity's lair. I was the one cat who was always there, and I took the time to see her just to make sure she was okay. Evidently, that spoke volumes, even if it was just my nature to be that way. She hadn't let another tom within a reasonable distance of her since the incident, so I'll never forget the day she hugged me.

"I just want to thank you for everything," she said, holding me tight. "You're the only tom who could do something like this without wanting anything in return. I really admire that."

I hesitated at first, not sure if she'd let me hug back – but when I did, she didn't protest. "It's what you deserve," I told her. "I don't have anything to want, so why would I?"

She pulled back and smiled at me. "Maybe because you like me?"

I flattened my ears to my head. "Er – what?" Okay, so maybe I did, a little, but no more than I had before. Not so much that I needed to act on it. And I'd assumed she wouldn't want me to, so I didn't.

"Oh, don't fool yourself," she laughed. "I've seen the way you look at me. The little twinkle in your eyes when we talk, and when you stop by first thing in the morning and last thing at night just to ask how I'm doing. All you want is for me to be happy, and not in the phony way other toms use to get at something else. With you it's so sincere. I've never met anyone who cared so much about so little. And I think it's really sweet."

I could feel my face getting hot. "So, um . . . w-what are you saying? I never—"

She held up a paw to silence me. Then, with the same paw, she reached out to me the same way she had at the Ball. She didn't say anything, and didn't need to.

I stared at her. "Are . . . are you asking me . . .?"

"I'm willing to try if you are," she answered.

I felt myself start to smile back at her. I couldn't help it. "I am," I finally said, and took her outstretched paw. "But . . . only if you're sure. If you're ever uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?"

"I'm not worried," she purred. "And that's saying a lot."

-x-X-x-

She wasn't wrong to trust me. I never gave her a reason to worry. We're mates now, and our relationship has done nothing but flourish. I protect her from all the bad in the world, and she gives me a reason to smile and be happy. We both have everything we need; it's fulfilling in every way. Sometimes other cats who still don't understand ask us how we manage, but it's clear to see that our love is just the same as theirs. Nothing is missing; we are complete.

So, yes, it's still rather strange.

But it's not wrong.

* * *

_AN: I hope you enjoyed! This was really just an experimental piece; hopefully at least some of you understood it. But if not, hopefully you liked the message anyway._

_ To the followers of my other two active fics, Three Little Words and Dark Side of the Moon, don't despair! I promise to update both of them before the summer is out. I just wanted to get this finished and posted to re-acclimate myself to fanfiction. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!_


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